Dear Mr. Bezos,

We are making a tracking collar for you too!

A letter from The One Union founder and President Andy Sorensen

Image of bulldog with Jeff Bezos's face

It is hard to believe that it was only a scant 10 months ago that we anointed Jeff as the richest person in the world at 100 billion.  Having achieved a dream only one person gets to have and beaten the game you would think this may have caused a man to pause and reflect on what it all means. Possibly look at how he arrived at this zenith and how to show appreciation to everyone for the great gifts bestowed upon him.

Or not.


The Richest Man in the World!

Jeff took his title as richest man in the world and patented a human productivity tracker (wristband) for his $13.00 dollar an hour workforce and kept playing the same game he just won.  Less than a year later Jeff is worth 160 billion dollars while some of his workforce pee in bottles to keep their productivity levels near 100% lest they get fired.

Jeff, you do know we are still humans, like you, right?   I mean at least until you can get rid of these pesky people and replace them with robots.  Until then the plan is to track your employees like animals or as near as robots as you can make them and squeeze out that dang productivity for folks who can’t even afford to live on what you pay them.   I’ll give you this Jeff, at least you’re consistent.  I like companies and people that are predictable it makes the exploitation of them that much easier.

The Plan to Use Wristband Trackers on Employees

Let’s take a deeper look into these wristband trackers patented by Amazon and what it would mean for the employees.  These productivity trackers go off when a person takes the wrong aisle in the warehouse and loses a few seconds.  Or if they have to go to the bathroom and it takes longer than the “allotted time.”  Anything that dips below 100% productivity triggers a ding and reminds the person they better pick up the pace or they will be talking to the boss.

Jeff, how do you get off thinking you should get 100% productivity for a lousy $13 bucks an hour?  What if I am having a bad day, my mom’s sick, or I can’t afford to fix my car?  Who gives 100% every day?  I suppose professional athletes come close but they make millions not dollars.  Jeff, what if I have been down that aisle a 1000 times and I just need to go down a different aisle for my own sanity.  What if I can’t squeeze out a number 2 in the allotted time?  Or I simply need five minutes off the human treadmill to just collect my thoughts and sanity.  Well then at the end of the day the manager comes over.

“Now, listen here Andy we have some concerns.  You took the wrong aisle today and that cost us 10 seconds, and you lost another 5 minutes on that bathroom break.  Now Andy, I am not trying to be a hard case but there were several minutes today that you just stood at the line and didn’t move.  Now I got the totals right here off your tracker and it says you were not at full productivity for a full 17 minutes and 27 seconds today.”

Here’s an idea Jeff, why don’t you run the clock like they do in soccer.  All the wasted time is tallied during the game and added as stoppage time at the end to capture every second.

“Now, Andy you owe us an extra 17 minutes today, but you know we can’t round down so it’s going to have to be a half-hour.  Sorry, but you know its company policy.”  Or you could just dock my pay for the minutes and seconds I didn’t give you 100% for that $13 dollars.

How About Charity for Your Workers?

Jeff made a big deal about asking people to submit ideas for which charity he should give some of his money.  I got an idea, Jeff, how about the people that made your company.  A line worker in your founding headquarters in Seattle can’t afford to live in the same city working full time for you.  How about we start there, reward the people that helped give you everything you ever dreamed of.

The Rich Plan Their Escape!

Nope, Jeff is putting a lot of money into building a spaceship to get off this planet.  You see, Jeff and a lot of his mega-rich friends have all come to the conclusion that the world is doomed and they better get off it.  My God Man, what have you become?  Your idea for the people that gave you everything is to wave at this burning, weeping planet as you sail off into space?  Talk about ungrateful.

Jeff, did it ever cross your mind that the reason the world may be doomed is because of people like you? All of you, the few, from capitalists to dictators, use the same model of exploiting the masses for the benefit of the very few.  Did you ever think that you could put your incredible talents and resources towards saving our species and planet instead of fleeing in a spaceship?

Jeff, you are an incredible entrepreneur, compared to you I am just a guy holding a sign saying; “will work for food.”  You and your cohorts could lead us out of this scarcity society to an abundant one.  You could end this model of exploitation of people, place, and thing and help bring us back to our original operating instructions of love and unity and a higher expectation of who we are as a species.  We could extend the life of our one planet and allow us to achieve a higher consciousness that every species strives to arrive at.

Instead, we give you the title of richest man in the world and you just continue to extract at an even higher pace than before.  And it becomes clear that you are just a one trick pony after all.   That’s ok Jeff, I realize we have reached the apex of the exploitation society and you are one of the silverback gorillas intent on keeping the world you won exactly the same.

The Tipping Point

The only and I mean only good thing about exploitation is it always comes full circle.  Today is the tipping point of this equation.  Today the exploited shall be the exploiters until we have fixed this gross inequality of immoral capitalism and can go back to being normal human beings. Being decent to one another and taking all of us out of the brutal equation of exploitation and into a new paradigm of competition based on hard work, service, innovation, and not on who can exploit others the best.

My name is Andy Sorensen and my buddies and I are building a tracking collar for you Jeff.  Our spaceship, One Union, isn’t going anywhere.  We intend to fix our ship or go down trying.  We are building several versions of your collar right now.  I personally like the shock collar.  And like the movie Spinal Tap, ours is going to go all the way to 11.  We could have it shock you every time you make another million dollars.  Could you imagine getting shocked every half hour, 24 hours a day?  Can you imagine trying to sleep with that thing going off?

We are experimenting with a collar that has hand extensions on it.  One of us made a great observation, that maybe you simply have alligator arms and just can’t reach your wallet.  These collar extenders should fix that, Jeff.

Oh, the collars we shall make and the places we shall go!

We Are Coming!

In the coming weeks and months, we are going to visit all your fulfillment centers and talk about these things.  We have new wristbands for your workers.  They say; ‘I am a human just like you, not an animal or a robot.  I want to live.”

To all you investors out there that are in for a rocky ride, I remind you it should be Jeff that bears the financial burden of these actions.   Gobbling up a 100 billion and then tracking his $13 dollar workers and gobbling another 60 billion in 10 months is corporate malfeasance.  No different than the CEO of Kodak who thought digital was a passing phase.  It is all under the same category, weakness.  And we all know that capitalism is built on exploiting weakness.  Survival of the fittest.  Walmart destroyed small town shops, and Amazon threatens all the big box stores.  On and on it goes.  Your weaknesses have left gaping vulnerabilities, a whole nation of people needing a new service, a new model.   This is the one great thing about Capitalism.  It eventually will balance the scales no matter how rigged it is in the favor of those at the top.

One Union is that model and we are coming Jeff.  Very soon.

Escape is Not Possible

One last note on this plan of yours and your mega-rich friends to flee the planet or “sinking ship”.  I am sorry to disappoint you all but none of us are getting off this rock with this system of exploiting, polluting, and killing in place.

It is the Universes own mousetrap.  Evolve to a higher consciousness or become extinct less you bring your virus to another planet and infect it too.  Can you imagine if you all got off this planet and arrived at one that was less developed than ours?  Maybe even more developed but not technologically.  You would say all the right things, of course, you’re there to help, and you can make them better off.  And you would harness them and begin extracting all of the resources you want until they are exhausted. The same model of exploitation because that is the only thing that works.  And of course eventually it would be another burning, weeping planet and you will say “Look what this species has done, there is just no helping them” and off you would go in search of more resources to hoard.

Of course, you all say you would never do that.  But of course you would, Jeff, because you already did it to your own species, your own people.   No, Jeff and friends, you are not getting off this planet.  So maybe you should stop trying to flee the sinking ship and realize you helped steer us into this iceberg of oblivion.  Maybe start to man up and fix the ship for those that gave you everything before we all sink to the bottom of the universe and we are sucked into the black hole of nothing.


Andy Sorensen

Your friends and fellow humans at The One Union,

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